A novelty Christmas music CD silent to human ears but audible only to dogs faces controversy following reports of subliminal content.
Popular CD hit “A Very Silent Night”, the No 1 Christmas tune for pooches around the country was today revealed to contain subversive and satanic messages with instructions to destroy their owners and take over the world. Back-masking, the technique of superimposing messages into music in reverse to cause subliminal thought, gained notoriety in the 80’s when rock band Judas Priest were charged with subliminally persuading a fan to commit suicide with the words “do it”. The lead singer later lamented “Perhaps we misjudged our fans, we were hoping they’d be holding an application to Harvard, instead of a gun”.
Jason Johnson of Takapuna thought something was up when after playing the song for his Airedale Terrier Rufus, his dog began to foam uncontrollably at the mouth. “At first I thought he’d gotten into something, rat poison, or the kids cereal or something. Then Rufus started gettin’ them crazy eyes. Then he just came straight for me. Mad, completely mad he was.” When Jason switched off the CD player he noticed Rufus immediately began to settle down. Was it just really bad music? Johnson said “I thought that perhaps Rufus is musically astute and just dislikes bad music but Justin Timberlake has never turned him into a killer before.” Jason later took the CD to Rootsy-Toots Recording Studios in Kingsland Auckland for analysis.
King Raggy Gammond of Rootsy-Toots Studios told The Other News, “When Jason came in I thought he had been hitting the green a bit hard bro, but he was quite anxious and, well the CD looked like a crazy idea anyway.” After playing the CD recording on his Pye Z20-Pro 4 track, a popular analogue recording device used by the Beatles on their White Album, Gammond and Johnson discovered that when they altered the music pitch down to a level audible to human ears, and played it backwards, certain words jumped out at them. “Clear as day it said ‘Satan is your master, destroy all humans.’ Many times over, it was out of it man. It also said something about cats and the White House later on. That was out of it too bro.” exclaimed Mr Raggy.
Local councils across the country have reported a spike in dog incidents over the summer holiday period saying, “Well if owners can’t control their cats and dogs these holidays, we’re just going to have to ban them all. Even the little yappy ones. Yep that’ll sort them good and proper. And fine ‘em heaps too. Oh yes please indeed.”