Violent crime connected to changes in the weather.

Tuesday April 1, 2008
Labour Police Minister links violent crime to the sun and moon. The Other News Investigates.
Photo of the sun: Moments before releasing it’s unexplained wrath on innocent and unsuspecting violent offenders drinking beer all day on the patio or at the beach

NZ Police Minister Annette King’s claim that the increase in youth violent crime over the summer as caused by the sun and the moon. Science now proves she is correct.

We find out why.

Professor Ronaldo Huguichi of The Oxfordston Science Academy of Hampstead said in a press release that “After much deliberation and a very long logarithmic calculus equation almost the size of that one Matt Damon did in Good Will Hunting, it is now confirmed that the celestial positioning of the moon and sun are indeed the cause for the sudden increase in youth crime in NZ over the past summer. And that people should lay off giving the PM and King a hard time as their claims are backed by very clever science and data research.

When asked how the findings were obtained Prof. Ronaldo told TheOtherNews “Well we won’t bore the readers with the long winded mathematical equations or causation and probability chart studies, however all I can tell you is yes, the sun and the moon were definitely present at the time of these events of mindless violence. Our findings clearly and undeniably reveal that this was indeed the case as these events were often reported at night or during the day. To our surprise, our research discovered the sun and moon were present and reported by meteorologist’s and eye witnesses alike, every time.

When asked that isn’t this simply coincidence, the sun and moon are always present? Prof. Ronaldo said “Well, sure, of course. But that’s beside the point.”